She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
