okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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