Quick, to the slutcave!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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