he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize