is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
