He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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