he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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