"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize