the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The uberlube is also flammable
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
