i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
