new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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