In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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