i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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