is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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