GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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