He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize