wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
