I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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