Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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