At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this just has baby written all over it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
