I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?