Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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