Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
