i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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