Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
