Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
