jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
