are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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