just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
