I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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