I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
