made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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