I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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