He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
