I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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