maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
