You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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