The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
