this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
