what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
