I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
