when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
