dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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