Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
