Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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