Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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