Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
