Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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