Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
