They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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