i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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