I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Of course I have a pirate flag
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
