my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
