I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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