Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
