i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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