I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My bed smells like the plague
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
