hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
