Betty ford says i'm here all night
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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