sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
