D3 body, D1 cock
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
