it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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