we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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